When Feelings Feel Bigger Than the Problem: 3 Point Scale - Size of the Problem

Sometimes the problem is small, but the feeling feels big.

In classrooms and playgrounds, many conflicts are small or medium sized problems. A disagreement. A different opinion. A moment of feeling unheard. Yet when emotions rise, thinking can narrow. The brain shifts into protection mode, and flexible problem solving becomes harder.

As Daniel Siegel describes in The Whole Brain Child, when strong emotions take over, the thinking part of the brain becomes less accessible. He reminds us that when we help children name what they are feeling, the emotional brain begins to settle and thinking becomes more available again.

Research on social and emotional learning further supports this. When regulation and perspective taking are intentionally taught, students show growth in emotional wellbeing, behavior, and academic outcomes (Durlak et al., 2011).

This is where the Size of the Problem framework becomes helpful.

By visually showing small, medium, and big problems alongside body cues and next steps, we give students a structure to return to. For small and medium problems, the first step is not solving. It is taking care of the body. A breath. A pause. A reset. From there, solution finding becomes possible.

The goal is not to eliminate big feelings. The goal is to build awareness. Over time, students begin to notice when their brain feels loud, scale the problem, and respond with increasing flexibility.

Becoming a solution finder begins with noticing.

Download the Size of the Problem resource below and use it to make the process visible in your space.

3-Point Scale - Size of the Problem (Jas Gill).pdf

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